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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
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If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
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Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
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I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
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Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
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In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
