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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
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My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
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I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
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Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
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I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.