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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
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If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
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They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
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A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
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Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
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If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
